Welcome to Petals & Thorns

Self-defense and firearms training through a woman's lens

Why Another Voice in the Conversation?

When people think of self-defense and firearms training, they often picture a very specific demographic: male, military or law enforcement background, aggressive mindset, and an approach that emphasizes overwhelming force as the primary solution to every threat. While there's certainly value in that perspective, it's not the only one—and it's not always the most practical one for women navigating the real world.

I'm AJ, the Rose half of Raven and Rose Training, and I started this blog because women need more than just scaled-down versions of male-oriented training. We need approaches that acknowledge our different strengths, address our unique vulnerabilities, and work within the reality of how we move through the world.

The Rose's Defense

A rose doesn't survive by trying to be an oak tree. It doesn't apologize for its beauty or attempt to look more intimidating. Instead, it develops natural defenses that are perfectly suited to its nature—elegant, effective, and integrated into its very being. The thorns aren't an afterthought; they're part of the design.

This is the philosophy I bring to self-defense training for women. We don't need to become someone else to become safer. We need to develop our natural capabilities and add defensive skills that complement who we already are.

What Makes the Female Perspective Different?

Physical Realities: Most women will never match the upper body strength of most men, and pretending otherwise does us no favors. But women often have advantages in flexibility, pain tolerance, and fine motor skills that can be leveraged effectively. Our training should build on these strengths rather than ignore them.

Social Conditioning: Women are typically socialized to be polite, accommodating, and conflict-averse. These aren't character flaws to overcome—they're social skills that serve us well in most situations. But we need to recognize when politeness becomes a liability and learn to access assertiveness when safety requires it.

Different Threat Profiles: Women face different types of threats than men, often from people we know rather than strangers. Our self-defense training needs to address the reality of acquaintance violence, domestic situations, and scenarios where the threat isn't immediately obvious.

Lifestyle Considerations: Women's clothing, accessories, and daily routines create different tactical considerations. A purse can be a weapon or a liability. High heels change your mobility and balance. Carrying while wearing a dress requires different solutions than cargo pants and a tactical vest.

Decision-Making Under Pressure: Research suggests that women and men sometimes process threat information differently. Women often excel at reading social cues and picking up on subtle danger signals, but may second-guess their instincts or hesitate to act decisively. Training needs to build on intuitive strengths while developing confidence in physical responses.

Beyond "Pink Guns and Smaller Grips"

The firearms industry has made efforts to appeal to women, but too often this translates to marketing rather than meaningful adaptation. Pink guns, purse holsters, and "ladies' classes" that focus primarily on overcoming fear miss the point entirely.

Women don't need condescending approaches or equipment designed to look feminine. We need training that acknowledges how we actually live, work, and dress. We need holster solutions that work with women's clothing. We need shooting techniques that account for different body proportions. We need tactical thinking that incorporates the realities of how predators select and approach female victims.

Most importantly, we need training environments where women can learn without feeling judged, intimidated, or like they're playing catch-up in someone else's game.

What You'll Find Here

In this blog, I'll be sharing insights, experiences, and practical advice about self-defense and firearms training specifically for women. You'll find:

Real-world applications: How to integrate defensive skills into your actual lifestyle, not some tactical fantasy version of daily life.

Equipment reviews: Honest assessments of gear designed for or marketed to women, with a focus on what actually works in practice.

Training approaches: Techniques and mindsets that build on women's natural strengths rather than trying to overcome supposed weaknesses.

Scenario discussions: How to handle the kinds of situations women actually face, from parking garage awareness to dealing with persistent unwanted attention.

Mental preparation: Building the confidence to trust your instincts and act decisively when necessary.

Community building: Creating supportive environments where women can learn and practice together.

The Balance of Petals and Thorns

The rose teaches us that beauty and strength aren't opposites—they're complementary. You don't have to choose between being feminine and being fierce, between being kind and being capable, between enjoying life and being prepared for its dangers.

The petals represent everything we don't want to lose: our compassion, our social connections, our ability to see beauty in the world, our natural intuitive abilities. The thorns represent the defensive capabilities we can develop: our awareness, our physical skills, our mental preparation, our willingness to fight for what matters.

Effective self-defense for women integrates both aspects. We prepare for violence not because we're paranoid or aggressive, but because being prepared allows us to live more freely and confidently. We develop defensive skills not to become warriors, but to remain ourselves while being harder to victimize.

An Invitation to Grow

Whether you're completely new to self-defense, an experienced shooter looking for different perspectives, or somewhere in between, this blog is for you. I'll be sharing what I've learned as a woman who's been training, teaching, and thinking about these issues for years—but I'm also here to learn from your experiences and insights.

Self-defense is deeply personal. What works for one woman might not work for another, and that's okay. The goal isn't to find one-size-fits-all solutions, but to explore the full range of options available to us and help each other find what works best for our individual circumstances.

Like roses in a garden, we're stronger when we grow together, sharing resources and supporting each other's development. We can maintain our individual beauty while developing collective strength.

Moving Forward

In upcoming posts, I'll be diving deeper into specific topics: concealed carry for women's bodies and clothing, recognizing and trusting your intuition about danger, building confidence in training environments, and much more. I'll also be sharing stories from other women who've found their own paths to preparedness and empowerment.

Because at the end of the day, the best self-defense technique is the one you'll actually use when you need it. And for women, that means training that fits our lives, builds on our strengths, and helps us become more of who we already are—just with better-developed thorns.

Welcome to Petals & Thorns. Let's grow stronger together.

-AJ